Just as a quick example… when i eat at Aburiya Raku with american friends, people tend to order tons of meat… steak, fish, chicken… lots of meat. When i eat there with my family or with Japanese friends, you can be sure that we order kamameshi or onigiri, there are way more veggies, and its not as focused on what are the most flavor packed items, but rather on the overall balance of the meal.
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as a quick example, in small mom and pop restaurants in japan, customers are understanding when things take time… if you see one guy cooking and one lady waiting tables and the restaurant is packed, you patiently sit and wait. Here, we complain about why they dont have more staff. I believe it stems from this “the customer is always right” attitude we have here. Japan also treats customers like they are gods, but customers are more understanding of what is going on. Also, Japanese customers tend to like eating in private rooms where they are not disturbed frequently. They dont need a waiter coming and checking in on them… they call people over if they need something. Here, we want waiters checking in, watching all of the time, offering opinions, etc. This isnt such a black and white issue, and its not this way 100% of the time in 100% of places, but it is the case the majority of the time. Lastly, there is something about developing a relationship with a restaurant that we have slowly phased out here in the US, but is rather common still in Japan. You may go to a place several times before they tell you about some secret dish that isnt on the menu, or start making special things for you. Other customers dont get those things because they havent invested the time in building that same relationship. This tends to bother people here, but isnt an issue there.
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With all due respect, this goes for almost any small restaurant in the world. Of course regular customers get special service or food.
But to be rude and unhospitable to a new customer has nothing to with cultural norms; it is a reflection of the owners’ lack of joy in what they do. That goes for any restaurant that meets you with a sour face, or a snobby attitude.
Yes, some Americans have the expectation that food will come quickly, but I’ve been to many places that will tell you kindly that something will take time.
Did someone write about a certain Japanese restaurant being rude and unhospitable to a new customer? I didn’t see anything specific in the posts above.
Mmmm… That may have been the yakotori thread.
We were the Ugly Americans at a Kyoto ramen counter. Having arrived in the late afternoon, the rain had ceased, the sun was setting and the mosquitos were eating us alive. Walking aimlelssly around a touristy area, we didn’t have any particular place in mind but were famished. Nothing rang with us until we reached beyond the restaurant barkers.
“Tsukemen Tsurukame” seemed quaint enough, and we saw a good number of salary men eating inside. The mosquitos were swarming us like crazy outside, so I entered. Instead of following me in, my wife broke out a citronella mosquito repellent and proceeded to spray down herself and our kids while standing outside the open entrance. Some of the over spray entered the shop and the owner became very upset, scolding me and my family for producing the offensive odor in his shop. (I’m sure you’re aware of how sensitive Japanese are to strong perfumy smells). While abruptly telling my wife to cease, I apologized to the owner, explaining in my best broken Japanese that as much as we screwed up, the mosquitos were really bad outside(it was July).
We had the guts to begin sitting at his counter - he was understandably curt with us - but we were starved, tired of being bitten and exhausted. The owner demanded that before he’d serve us, that my wife and kids go in the restroom and wash off the citronella. As they did so, I again apologized, bought a round of beers for everyone, apologized again to the owner as well as the patrons, and things started to calm down.
I explained to the owner why we chose his place, included a few extra complements, and asked him if he would so kindly serve us his favorites on his menu because, frankly, we were tourists who didn’t know what or how to order (obviously). It’s not like his menu was extensive or complex, but I just needed to subordinate us to the owner as much as possible after the major faux pas.
The good thing about this place was that the ramen was really good to us, and we visited two more times on consecutive days. The owner obviously remembered us and each visit got better, to the point where he offered my wife and I some sake from a bottle he just opened for another customer. I know this is not a big deal, but for him to get to here from where we started was remarkable to us.
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Nice essay.
It’s surely a factor that the greater Los Angeles area has the largest Japanese population in the continental US: 135,000 in the 2010 census, three times as many as New York or San Francisco. I think that means more businesses with Japanese owners aimed primarily at Japanese customers, and consequently better, more traditional, and more diverse Japanese restaurants.
Though those are probably outnumbered by places serving Americanized sushi, hibachi, ramen, etc.
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With all due respect, this goes for almost any small restaurant in the world. Of course regular customers get special service or food.
But to be rude and unhospitable to a new customer has nothing to with cultural norms; it is a reflection of the owners’ lack of joy in what they do. That goes for any restaurant that meets you with a sour face, or a snobby attitude.
Yes, some Americans have the expectation that food will come quickly, but I’ve been to many places that will tell you kindly that something will take time.
this wasn’t something I had commented on, but I’ve been there on a couple of occasions where I have seen people struggle with this. I’ve always had great experiences at yakitoriya, and most of the time when I see problems, they stem from language issues. The owners of yakitoriya don’t speak English as well as one might expect, and “lost in translation” moments do occur. I once was there when they were extremely short staffed… it was literally just Toshi-san and a dishwasher. No wait staff, no helpers… just one guy cooking, serving, and bussing, and one guy cleaning up. Because of this, they couldn’t let the restaurant get too full, so they had empty seats. But, it was crazy busy for him (the restaurant was a little over 1/2 full). As I was sitting there, some people randomly popped in without a reservation. The first couple was Japanese, and Toshi-san explained to them in Japanese how they were short staffed and really couldn’t accomodate more people. He said sorry and asked them to please come again another time. The second group of people was a 4 top that popped in with no reservation. They were not Japanese and saw the restaurant only about 1/2 full. In broken English, he asked if they had a reservation, to which they responded no. He then tried to tell them he was short staffed and couldn’t take any walk in customers that day. He tried to apologize, but they got angry and yelled how rude he was being by turning them away with the restaurant half empty. He did his best to explain, and I even tried to help, but they were so angry and stormed out. They later wrote a review on yelp about how rude he was to them and how they were turned away because they didn’t have a reservation, but how the restaurant was still 1/2 empty. I have seen countless instances like this (not necessarily the same circumstances, but similar language problems) at Japanese and Korean restaurants (i don’t speak Korean, but have been witness to people’s anger with language issues).
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Okay, I understand. I’ve never seen people get rude and yell because of language differences, though. Maybe we eat at different restaurants. My impression is that most people in places like Los Angeles, NY, SF, and even Minneapolis, understand that immigrants may not have mastered the English language.
i wish my experience were more akin to yours (and they are sometimes), but I see quite a bit of what i described above (i also eat out more than most people, and tend to eat restaurants where english is not the dominant language)
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And people wonder why Chinese restaurants have two separate menus.
The Laowai menu, and the Chinese menu.
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Hi @JBroida,
Welcome to FTC! 
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I’ve been meaning to buy a knife from your shop! Hopefully soon (thanks for all the videos as well)!
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That American customers, more often than not in my personal experience as well, hold immigrant restaurants to US standards of service and expectations I think shows that they are unsympathetic to immigrants who have not mastered the English language, e.g. see the Sushi mislabeling thread and the expectations of LA customers demanding that Japanese chefs communicate the correct English names of Japanese fish.
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Nice to see you on here and contributing Jon!
-Arturo
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this has not, with the rare exception, been my personal experience.
now that i think about it, if the situation were reversed – yknow, a different country with us-born immigrants running a joint – the term “ugly american” would pop up post haste.
Chinese food ordering is a whole separate subject of its own.
Hi @JBroida,
Welcome to FTC!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I’ve been meaning to buy a knife from your shop! Hopefully soon (thanks for all the videos as well)!
Thanks
Nice to see you on here and contributing Jon!
-Arturo
Hey Arturo… whats up? Didn’t know you were on here too
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“If the situation were reversed”? So you’ve never been to a
foreigner-owned, run or operated restaurant in Japan? Have you ever been to Japan?
I sense a new meme being born:
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