71Above - Best views in all of LA

Let me just get this out of the way, the view at the new 71Above (at the US Bank Tower in DTLA) is fabulous, and the design and panoramic layout of the dining room lends itself to soaking in the magnificent landscape (and nightscape) that is our beautiful city.

So with that out of the way, let’s talk about the view. On a clear summer night, you can literally see forever, that is if you can fight off all the douchebags, ahem, I mean fellow patrons who are eagerly taking cellphone videos of the view and selfies with LA’s horizon as a backdrop. The best part is that some will actually walk right up to your table, discreetly lean into your area, and snap away. Which makes me feel really bad. I mean, seriously, who am I to have my window-table get in the way of another person’s Instagram feed.

And lest I forget, when you exit the elevator to enter the restaurant, the design of the hallway/entrance makes you feel a bit like you’re in one of the Matrix movies.

Suffice to say, this is a fabulous restaurant. At dinner time, you get to see the city glisten with the anticrepuscular rays of the setting sun. I’m sure the view is equally stunning at lunch, but I’m betting if they offered breakfast the sunrise would be magnificent, assuming none of those Instagram douchebags, er, ahem, I mean fellow patrons find you to be an inconvenience.

71Above
US Bank Tower
633 West Fifth St.
Los Angeles

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Hi @ipsedixit,

LOL! Thanks for taking one for the team.

Judging by your zero mention of the food, it’s that bad, huh? :stuck_out_tongue:

How did your selfies turn out? :wink:

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It was, to use pidgin English, tweezerific!

No chef talent?

Far be it for me to judge another person’s talent, or lack thereof.

But the menu, and really the entire place, is setup like restaurant cum amusement park. Dinner is a three-course prix-fixe menu, which makes a person feel like either they are dining on a holiday (like Valentine’s or NYE) or they’re at some banquet where the guest speaker is none other than P.T. Barnum.

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I think that’s a bit of a harsh take. I actually thought Vartan’s food was quite good, pretty well thought out and tailored in such a way to impress more seasoned diners (that tomato tart was A+) but also appeal to the wider audience that’s probably going to be dining at the place.

I was actually being kind. If my meal there wasn’t comped, I’d be completing fucking batshit pissed. And, probably, a little upset.

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I think they’re making a big mistake by limiting the dinner to a prix fixe only menu. Vartan is more than capable of creating and executing a full dinner menu.

I do have respect for Chef Vartan Abgaryan. Despite the tweezerific review here, I still do intend on trying the view… er I mean food at 71Above soon…

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they’re called INFLUENCERS, ips

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Not the scourge of civilization…?

not mutually exclusive

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So us?..

There are quite a lot of people here that take photos of their food…

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No. I’d like to think that most (hopefully, all) FTC’ers aren’t leaning into other people’s eating space when they snap a photo! I know I don’t…

Hereby trademarking the term “affluenouche” which means: An affluent influencer who also happens to be Lord (or Lady) Douchebag…

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Ah, I see, fair enough.

If you have any specific feedback, what would it be?

How’s it any different from a straight menu like you’d get at a non coursed out restaurant? You’d probably pick two starters and a main, right? It’s the same idea. Unless you don’t plan on eating very much. At that point you could always just hit the bar and have a few bites there instead of the full menu. It’s three courses, pick whichever one you want from each section. Prix fixe implies very little selection, but each section on the menu has like 6 choices.

You’re kidding, right?

No, I wouldn’t necessarily pick two appetizers and a main. Especially if none of the appetizers are appetizing to me. So what that means is I am forced to pay the fucking $70 prix fixe menu price regardless of whether any of the dishes appeal to me. Granted, the obviously riposte is, “well, the menu is posted online you doofus. did you flunk reading comprehension in pre-school, or just not pay your Internet bill?” Yes, it is, but the menu doesn’t really make it obvious that it’s prix fixe only. Again, I will admit this is a “my bad” problem, but like they say, “you only get to fuck with people so many times before you end up with gonorrhea.”

And if I wanted to just have drinks at a bar, I would just start there. I wouldn’t go to a restaurant intending to have dinner and then decide midstream, well the food isn’t to my liking, and then just head over to the fountain and get drunk.

As to specifics, my ribeye, while cooked just a smidgen too close to medium, was tasteless, and the au jus it was sitting on was like concentrated, barrel-aged soy sauce with extra salt. There was also a spooned dab of black garlic and miso which the server proudly explained was “cured” in-house (wtf does that mean? cured in-house? cured from what? Zika?) that reminded me of grainy, musty old mustard. All that said, the dish was marvelously garnished with flowers and leaves (on a steak dish!) just because, you know, we must appease the affluenouche™.

Oh and you want to talk starters? My king crab tasted nothing like crab, it felt like a bowl of ingredients before Qwench Juice Bar got a hold of it. On the positive, I’m no longer constipated (but I wasn’t to begin with anyway). And no one should have to suffer through rubbery cold pork rinds when eating a dish billed as “king crab”. But again, lots of flowers and leaves on this dish and plated just so off-center to give it that cool Mondrian De Stijl effect because, as we know by now, the affluenouche™ must be made happy.

Well, at least some one is probably happy.

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