Yep, I’ve thought of the Subway comparison too–not even a close call with price and quality factored in. It’s insane.
It took about 10 years of going to Sea Harbor before my mom finally accepted the slight price markup was worth it. This after years and years of sitting across from each other as she grumbled about the prices and how the dim sum wasn’t THAT much better than other SGV places. Same for Elite–one dinner was so bad there (not the food!), we haven’t been back since. That was about 10-12 years ago. It’s been so blissful to eat at Sea Harbor without the cost tension.
Not that this has meant a wholesale change in my mom’s attitude. She made an exception for Sea Harbor. Most recent was a Malaysian place in Sydney. She was totally dismayed with paying more than $15 for rice and noodle entrees when across the street was a huge mall food court. And of course, afterwards, when I told my Malaysian aunt where we had lunch, her response, naturally, was, “that place is expensive…” Not that she had ever eaten there.
That conversation w/ the first restaurant is so heart breaking. I hope they survive. I never go to Westminster, but if it only takes 40 mins…
I’ve noticed this w/ quite a few places (Felix, Antico, Sweetgreen, Takuma [to a certain extent]). I personally love it. Protects both the staff and the customers, IMHO.
My mom is the same way. I took her and some aunts and uncles to Four Sisters in Northern Virginia, which is a more “modern” Vietnamese restaurant run by the 2nd generation of a Viet immigrant family. it’s outside of the core Vietnamese shopping area, Eden Center, but nearby. The prices weren’t even that absurd to me (like around $12-$20 for a decently large entree) but my mom complained after the meal that the food was “good” but “too expensive.” Or she’ll say she can make it better at home (I mean, my mom’s cooking is delicious so she’s got a point there).
Same here. My mom always says she can cook whatever we are eating better and cheaper. She’ll usually throw in a little jab too while critiquing the food. Oh the food was ok but a little salty.
We thought about taking my parents to Majordomo but is not with the aggravation. My mom would faint if we ordered a bowl of veggies and ssam jang for $15 or whatever it costs.
Garlic and Chives for me it’s okay. Lot of their popular stuff you can find better version elsewhere ie snails go to Oc and Lau, shaking beef at Khoi Hung
Their goi’s are really good. The salmon belly is also pretty good
And then they complain we never take them out. or make note that you went out with another family member and not them.
So when she gets all complainy about the service and cost I reign her in…
“Mom, if I wanted to just eat food sitting across from you, I would have brought home Donuts…”
Refocusing is good because often those complaints and such are manifestations of anxiety in various different forms. I haven’t gotten to that point yet… but I will full on ask her to join me in breathing exercises at the table if I have to…
The Show Ramy had a good scene about something similar how the sister would get so upset about ‘comments’ the parents would make and Ramy was like… just do what you want. Give her a kiss. Leave. What is she REALLY going to do… Disowning an otherwise good 2nd generation child has consequences for them too …
I completely push back now, IMO it seems that the older immigrant generation respects blunt authority (kinda like the parenting most of them gave to first generation children like myself).
I make the plans, order, pay, and I squash any comments about this or that being too much or too expensive before they can get the complain train rolling. I tell my parents and in-laws in the most polite ways but forcefully, if they don’t like it they don’t have to come or we don’t need to go out to eat.
I find the experience to be much worse when I give them choices instead just making all the decisions.
I make the plans, order, pay, and I squash any comments about this or that being too much or too expensive before they can get the complain train rolling.
Oh if it was only so easy. Your elder relatives are pushovers! Trust me, I’ve picked up every check in two decades and my mom will still somehow make it like she’s being robbed at gunpoint.
Went to Harvey Guss for Mother’s Day a few years back (RIP). Invited my parents and the in-laws. Bought a bunch of dry aged prime steaks. The most beautiful meat on God’s green earth. I cooked them to perfection and the steaks were amazing. Everybody said these were the best steaks they ever ate. All the parents kept on asking where we got them, how much they were, etc… Once they found out the price and trouble I went to procure the steaks they were comparing the meat to Stater Bros. Last time I ever served these ingrates dry aged prime meat. I’d rather serve them to my kids who don’t know/care about the price but beg me to take them back to Peter Luger’s and The Ranch.
Good! Yeesh… talk about a power trip… If you ever behaved that way at Auntie So-n-So’s house and insulted her efforts in such a way they’d whip out the Chancla so fast your head would spin… That is why I have no issues calling that $#!+ out. It’s rude plain and simple…
I have immigrant parents, but neither of them cooked much/at all, so I was lucky in a sense; they actually were fine paying more $ for “ethnic” food – incl Chinese – as long as they could taste the difference in quality.
I hope they survive. I never go to Westminster, but if it only takes 40 mins…
But I’ve gotten pointed over the years…
or make note that you went out with another family member and not them. 