What’s what I totally think, too, but then I realize I’m being judgmental. Not that I have prob w/ that fundamentally… I just don’t like admitting it publicly. 
So, you’re one of those “closet judgmentalists”?
Precisely. 
::snort::
Axis II issues…
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No longer any Axis II under the DSM 5. Hah! And I didn’t realize people in IM were even aware of our shorthand…
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Got to give the guy credit for his frequent posts and reviews of new restaurant.
But after the 50th consecutive review of the latest and greatest small plate roast cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, hamachi crudo and beef tartar joint opened by chefs who job-hopped every 3-6 months does get very dull…
I noticed I’m paying more attention to his beer reviews of late, more interesting…
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Yes, his dedication is admirable. His pictures are a great resource, and he and his posse often order a healthy portion of the menu, so we get to see what the dishes actually look like. Like Yel* plus, but with one monotonous voice instead of the cacophony of the hoi polloi. But yes, his “analysis” of trendy New American small-plates places that de rigeur serve the aforementioned roast cauliflower, crudo et al. (don’t forget the charred/“blistered” shishito peppers and a semi-competent yet overpriced “cocktail program”) is as as repetitive as the cuisine is tired. To be fair, though, I don’t expect much critical analysis from him because he obviously is fairly well known / gets along with many restauranteurs and foodie scenesters and it’s very tough to remain objective and write critical reviews.
He definitely love his suds, second only to perhaps his love of the thesaurus. I don’t really read his ultra-safe reviews for content…except for the occasional chuckle when I read lines like this:
“Giant, gamboge globules of salmon roe showed off beautiful bursts of briny goodness upon mastication, with their salty, sea-tinged savor adroitly offset by their seaweed wrapper.” - on sugarFISH, 11/2/2010
Poetic use of alliteration. Might as well be KevinKeats.
Wouldn’t it be something if the whole time he was trolling the idea of foodie journalism with some elaborate, ironic online performance art exhibition?
I’m giving the guy a hard time, he seems like a decent guy and his cataloging efforts are appreciated by many.
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i think that quote says it all
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It’s true. I go to his site for a visual representation of the menu - see if something looks good.
the writing sounds a little like this “kevin” when i’m being pretty fucking pretentious, pestering and pescatarian and prolifically post-profound.
and that ain’t no fucking joke.
Jonathan Gold used the “-forward” suffix in his weekly chat today to describe Baroo:
Baroo is so on my radar. It is, for better or for worse, the fermentation-forward future of cuisine in Los Angeles. A basically vegan restaurant that serves pork belly; grains that even I had to look up on Google; as many flavors of kombucha as Baskin-Robbins has ice cream - backwards the mind reels.
(Emphasis mine)
I seem to recall him using it in his Le Comptoir review as well.
We all read kevineats, why not him?
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using the word “forward” at times (e.g. people understand what is meant by the wine description of “fruit forward”), as long as one doesn’t get carried away with redundancies (a la the “corn-forward flavor profile of the Corn Nuts” line). Goes for pretty much anything, really. Fine to use alliteration, but overly precious and try-hard phrases like “giant gamboge globules” do make me smirk.
I’ll just chalk it up to a difference in styles. Again, he seems like a decent guy, just having a laugh or two here. I don’t mean to be pernicious. Also, his kind of Honors-Sophomore-overachiever style of writing isn’t the worst offense in the blogosphere.
Solid point.
Sure of course not, but at the same time his writing feels like he’s just looking up words on Thesaurus.com and artificially inflating his writing. NO ONE I know writes or speaks like that in real life.
It comes across as arrogant and braggadocious IMHO.
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True, I don’t know of anyone who speaks like that in real life. Not seriously, anyway. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard the phrase “upon mastication” or the word “gamboge” in person, and probably never will. Unless I’m at some blogger event 
A girl once dragged me to a Yelp Elite event and it was…exactly as one would expect: bitchy and Elitist… I’m curious how people speak at blogger events. “Oh that cheese, so gamboge.” Kidding.
(In Person): “Mmm, that’s really nice.”
(Goes home and types online): “The ever beef-forward rendition of the perennially popular comfort food, the ‘French Dip,’ was on fantastic display here. Its presentation was unabashedly classic, but, yet, its simple demeanor belied how amazeballs the combination of beef, cheese, and bread really was. Upon mastication, it gave into a slightly dense chew, as expected, and I noticed the flavors more upon yet more mastication. The gossamer slice of cheese was sticky and of a gamboge hue. The bread was mediocre like they bought it from Ralph’s! I’d rather have it au naturale and that au jus was so good I could skinny dip in it! Good to very good 4 stars”
Ok that’s all I’m going to say in this thread. I’m having some good chuckles here but I’ll stop now.
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Really? I read it as overly earnest and an attempt to seem more sophisticated at writing than he presumably is. I actually don’t think he uses the thesaurus. I think markambrose hit it on the head when he said “Honors-Sophomore-overachiever.” It’s like, “How can I make this sound as long(-winded) and (pseudo-)intellectual as I can?” That’s not something that can be done w/ thesaurus alone…
Jonathan Gold’s use of “-forward” seems completely different, IMHO, and appropriate (and rather charming, actually, given the alliteration).
Nice to see you here, BTW, @theoffalo.
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Hi paranoid,
Yah, I guess my view of that “honors-sophomore-overachiever” angle is the end result (IMHO): his writing reads like it’s very pretentious, like a wanna-be overachieving “honors student” “look at me and all the big SAT words I just learned”-type of angle, LOL.
Oh well.
Fuck those fucked up SAT words.
So fucking pretentious.
But then again take a pithy look of my Mori review. Pretentious fucking central.
And that ain’t no fucking joke.
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