tl:dr - A rather lengthy, rambling musing with some - I hope - helpful insights.
[quote=“Aesthete, post:51, topic:4817”]
this all started by me saying there are many other restaurants one could go spend the same amount of money at and eat just as well which is the primary mode of challenge.
[/quote]I think this is the crux of the issue, @Aesthete: yes, there are other restaurants where one can go and eat just as well - or even better - for about the same amount of money…but they’re not equivalent.
It’s the apples and oranges thing: you’re comparing restaurant to restaurant (or fruit to fruit), but not evaluating each restaurant (or each fruit) on their own merit.
One goes to dine at these higher end, unique restaurants because they are unique. El Bulli, Noma, Aliena…one can make generalizations about these three:
- They are restaurants
- They serve food
- They serve a very specific style of food
- They each express a chef’s “vision” of what food can be
- They each inhabit a specific space and place, and offer a unique environment (from making reservations to the confirmation process to the seats and tables and what hangs on the walls to the type of servers and service to the place settings and plates and dining utensils and how food is placed/arranged on the dish to the order of courses and what one is told about them as they are placed before you to how you are told to “experience” the eating to the scent, texture, and taste…and on and on and on).
One goes to these restaurants - and others at this level - because of the specific, unique experience each offers. It goes far beyond the food (though the food is at the core and everything, on some level, expands outward from that).
One does not go to Noma expecting the same experience as one would have had at El Bulli; likewise, one does not go to Californios expecting the same experience as one might have at n/naka.
Yes, one is going to both to eat. One is expecting to pay a rather high price (though that is always relative depending on one’s finances and one’s priorities) for that food. One is expecting that the food - and the experience - to be worth that money. (However, what is an acceptable QPR for you is not, necessarily, the same acceptable QPR for another person.)
What one experiences at a restaurant is, in many ways, singular: two people can be seated at the same table, served the same dishes by the same servers in the same order, and come away with two very different feelings about the meal and the experience. One diner might have loved the different platings and appreciated some subtle nuance of particular dishes; the other might have been annoyed, visually, by how the food appeared on the plate (maybe the lighting was slightly different from their angle, or they didn’t like the way the colors contrasted/complimented) and frustrated that they were served multiple dishes made with ingredients they didn’t care for.
One chooses to eat at n/naka, Californios, Noma, etc., because they are singularities.
The appeal of each restaurant is unique and is enticing to certain people. I, for one, have no interest in molecular gastronomy (it does zilch for me - I have no appreciation for or interest in it, other than in a general, “Hmmm, that’s interesting” kind of way: I have no desire to shell out my limited “dining out” funds on a molecular experience). That is me. I am not saying that molecular gastronomy is wrong, shouldn’t exist, is a waste of time or money, that people are idiots for enjoying it, or otherwise passing judgment. I’m saying it’s not my thing. And that’s okay.
You went to n/naka and it didn’t work for you: for whatever reason(s), what you experienced was not the same as what some other people experienced and you came away from your meal with a different assessment of QPR and everything else. That’s okay.
For me, n/naka is one of the very few of what I consider high-end, unique dining experiences, that has an appeal. I hope to go there some day, for the vegetarian menu. I am intrigued by the history and traditions of kaiseki and would love to see how the chef has taken that tradition and made it her own.
I would not go expecting a “traditional” kaiseki experience, for that is not what she is offering. She is providing her interpretation, based on using ingredients local to this area, our seasonal changes, and many other things. That appeals to me.
Do I have the knowledge to appreciate all the nuances of the meal and the experience? I highly doubt I do - but I’d like to see what my experience is like.
Just because n/naka wasn’t a breathtaking experience for you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you - we’re all unique and that’s fine. It wasn’t a good match for what you desire or enjoy.
But on this thread, it feels as though you are looking down on and passing judgment on people who did find a meal at n/naka to a revelatory, magical experience. You are challenging and confronting people and that’s off-putting and alienating.
Sometimes an experience is impossible to put into words - even the most erudite writers struggle to convey certain things. Some events cannot be encapsulated in mere words. Is this a failing of the author? Of our language? Of the fact that we can’t yet do a mind meld thing so we can experience exactly what another experiences?
I understand the challenges of living with Asperger’s and how your perception of events, because they’re filtered through your specific brain chemistry and wiring, is challenging. I understand you’re striving to connect with others and to understand what they experience. I really do believe you have no ill-will or malice; I also believe - very strongly - that you’re frustrated, you yearn to understand others, and that living on the spectrum is challenging as hell. I do not, in any manner, mean to minimize that.
All of us, whether we’re on the Autism spectrum or not, experience things through our own, very unique, filters. Our different brain and body chemistry, our taste buds and what tastes “good” or “bad” to us, our perception of textures, sounds, colors, our comfort in a chair at a table rather than on a stool at a high table in a bar dining area, what we were exposed to as children, what we’ve experienced as adults and what has happened to us as we’ve grown and aged (physically, mentally, emotionally) - all of these filters affect how we perceive and interpret the world.
We’re all here because we’re fascinated by food. That is our common ground. But not a single one of us brings the same things to the table in terms of our filters, our expectations, and our experiences.
That is a good thing, as it’s a celebration of our diversity. And it is a challenge, as we struggle to communicate what we experience, what’s important to us, to others.
That is true in this forum. That is true in all parts of each of our lives.
I keep thinking of an old family friend who often said, “I like vanilla ice cream, you like chocolate, and your mom - for some reason - likes that daiquiri ice thing; that’s why there’s 31 Flavors!”