1… Let’s just stop throwing this around so lightly… it’s partly why people have such high expectations of a website. It’s not a community, at all. It’s a food related message board. Unless you meet regularly and then communicate online it’s not a community. That word is powerful, it is reserved for places where people know each other IRL and meet periodically, which forces them to speak online much closer to how they would in person, since they know they’ll meet again. Here there’s still anonymity here.
2… Jokes, trash talk, light ribbing may be off putting to some but it’s part of how not only the internet works but how many people who get some sort of a familiarity with each other talk. Especially men. And you know what? It’s not fun without it. This place isn’t just to find a restaurant but also provides escapes during boring work days. Try as you might, you won’t get rid of jokes. And i’ll say that this place is waaaaaaay nicer and less full-contact than most of the internet. Nobody wants the vibes in here to be NextDoor fake levels
3… If we indeed have an issue with people in charge occasionally communicating in an off-putting manner, while they’re people and should also be allowed some leeway, we can definitely expect user attrition.
People are all different, we’re supposed to expect to butt heads a bit and try and be nice. But also know that if i make fun of you using an InstaPot or whatever it’s not out of mean intentions, just light ribbing, and I expect the same.
I’ve read/heard that the subconscious doesn’t understand sarcasm. And when written rather than spoken it’s probably even tougher. Perhaps one should reserve their sarcasm for people with whom they have even a non-IRL relationship. There are those of you who communicate regularly and those who don’t. Should be a relatively easy distinction.
Also regarding “community,” I will differ wildly from you.
That’s the problem when people want to go by formal definitions and not what actually happens in behaviors. You expect people to act they want they won’t if it was a community. A community is closer than this, also in a community trash talk is even stronger. This is strangers talking about a common topic of interest, food.
There’s a sense of community here. But that is all - a sense.
I gave mine at length. You using a literal definition, I’m commenting on how the internet actually works. If there are safe spaces on the internet, I don’t see them. I don’t want them. I actually like the level of ‘niceness’ on this page. And we’ll see what adjustment is made now that there’s a bit of a correction.
How on earth would either of those be off-putting in the least?
Agreed. This isn’t, nor should it be, like Sunday School.
THIS. I don’t know you from Adam, so if you want to make fun of my jar of kefir firmenting on the kitchen counter or whatever, I’m just going to dish it right back at you. It’s banter. I’m not so insecure that I need validation from internet strangers, and if you want to go off about my kefir, well, you don’t know me so why should I care what you think? You don’t like it? Cool, more for me.
Who cares. If you want to eat at Chick-fil-A and you don’t care that some of your money will go to funding anti-LGBTQ organizations and politicians, then go for it. But I’m totally judging you* for knowingly valuing your slightly-above-mediocre (IMO) fried chicken sandwich above the equal civil rights of roughly 10% of the population.
(*I’m using “you” casually here. I don’t remember or really even care if this example applies to you specifically, bc while I will judge in the moment in a thread, once we move on and get back to other food I probably won’t remember because it just isn’t that deep.)
Do I care about vegans judging me for eating or using animal products? Nope.
There are still some people who judge Volkswagen drivers because of the company’s Nazi roots.
You can’t please everyone all of the time, nor should you. Whatever you do, as long as it isn’t with obvious malicious intentions, just fucking own it and carry on.
It took all that was in me not to correct the guy at the Fermentation Farm in Costa Mesa who kept calling it “key fur” despite my repeated pronunciation. Like, you sell grains and make it in-house; how the hell do you not know how to pronounce it?
Constructively, going forward, may I suggest to the admins to construct a “Welcome to FTC” thread to be viewed for all those logging in to FTC for the very first time?
I recall that the old Chowhound had such a “Welcome” section (can someone look this up from the way back machine?). It included things like the Chowhound Manifesto, and a list of abbreviation we often use (like SGV = San Gabriel Valley, BH = Beverly Hills, etc.). The FTC Welcome thread can also include a brief explanation of running jokes (Sergio, Toto, Stinking Rose, etc.) and our somewhat unique abbreviations (such as OOE, QPR)… I dunno. Maybe this will help our discussions.
J_L, I think your suggestion is brilliant! It would help with exclusion/inclusion issues. I only recently found out about Sergio and still don’t really ‘get’ Toto. And what is OG???
